JACK THE GIANT SLAYER-REVIEW

Director:Bryan Singer
Writter:Christopher McQuarrie, Mark Bomback, Dan Studney, Darren Lemke
Released date:March 1, 2013 (USA)


Full review:

The current wave of action-fantasy-adventure films derive from a great many diverse sources: old fairy tales, Tolkien novels, an engaging piece of kitsch like 1981's Clash of the Titans. Yet somehow these movies all seem to take place in the same digitally glossy, generically medieval storybook mud kingdom, with the same essential battles and monsters. They offer intermittently fun and frenetic creature-feature eye candy and, too often, not much else.

In Jack the Giant Slayer, which could have been called Jack the Huntsman Meets Clash of the Rings, a beanstalk bursts out of the ground, and it is fairly cool to look at, with humongous gnarly vines that twist around each other and shoot into the air like a vertical forest. The beanstalk leads to a towering stone cliff in the clouds, where a tribe of giants has taken the willowy Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) prisoner. Who will save her? You guessed it: a fellowship of the noble-hearted. They include a stalwart knight (Ewan McGregor) and his team of royal warriors; a skinny tenant farmer named Jack (Nicholas Hoult), who's in love with the princess; and her scoundrel of a suitor, Roderick (Stanley Tucci, outfitted with hair and gapped teeth that make him look extremely weaselly).

Once they climb the beanstalk (a perilous journey for anyone frightened of heights), we meet the giants, who are a mangy set of Cockney trolls. They're a lot like the trolls in The Hobbit, though in this case the motion-capture effects are even more visually crafty and individualized. Look, that one picks his nose and resembles a desiccated Max von Sydow! That one has Questlove's hair! And the leader, General Fallon (played by the redoubtable Bill Nighy), is actually sort of handsome, at least if you can see past his second noggin, which natters from his right shoulder like Zippy the Pinhead. The giants are a kick to watch, but when they talk, they might as well be soccer hooligans at a pub. Any feeling of horrific wonder fades fast.

And what of Jack's crusade to win the heart of the princess? Like everything else in the film that isn't F/X-related, it's weightless. The director, Bryan Singer, works more anonymously here than he did in the X-Men films. Jack the Giant Slayer feels like it could have been made by anyone. Eleven years after About a Boy, Hoult has grown up into a doleful actor with regal cheekbones, but here, when he isn't plunging kitchen knives into the backs of giants, there's something a touch neurasthenic about him. He doesn't tingle with romantic energy. I kept wondering why the agelessly appealing McGregor was standing off to the sidelines. He has the snap, the valor, the film needs at its center. The giants' capture and imprisonment of the princess has overtones of John Ford's The Searchers (General Fallon acts like he wants to do something quite unsavory to her), and once the situation is resolved, the film seems to be over. Fear not: There are still 30 minutes of battle spectacle to go. This is how a fairy-tale movie gives us our money's worth today. Even if once upon a time, it was called overkill. 

Official trailer:

MARY AND MAX -REVIEW

Director: Adam Elliot

Writter:Adam Elliot

Released date:April 9, 2009 (Australia)

Full review:

I'm not quite sure what I was expecting from this claymation adventure when I sat down to watch it with the kids. Somehow I think I was expecting the sort of slapstick associated normally associated with Wallace and Gromit.

I certainly didn't expect the serious, emotive and thought-provoking material that was eventually delivered. In fact, the film was so serious in parts that I began my "30 second censorship countdown".

The Plot

In Short, the story concerns a little girl who lives in Australia and who has domestic issues which affect her circle of friends. She selects an unlikely pen-friend named Max, who lives in New York and who has aspergers with severe anxiety issues. The film deals with how their letters and thoughts affect each other and the right and wrong choices they make.

The Audience

I'm quite relaxed with censorship around my kids (aged 6 and 9). They've watched some fairly gory stuff (Aliens, The Passion) and some things with adult concepts and language (South Park - the word-censored tv version, not the movie). One of the few things gets me thinking about censorship is repeatable dangerous behaviour (the sort of thing you see on Jackass). The 30 second countdown says that if I feel uncomfortable and the situation doesn't change within 30 seconds then it gets turned off.

I initiated the 30 second censorship countdown but the disturbing scene was over long before I completed it.

Make no mistake. This is no "Wallace and Grommit" film. The characters have real emotions, some of which (depression) are quite strongly realized.Watch this film yourself before deciding whether to let your kids watch it.

The Comedy Factor

The humour in this film is mostly slapstick plus a bit of narrative contradiction. The narrator says one thing and the characters do the opposite.

It's certainly a laugh-out-loud film at times but not consistently. The comedy gives way to the story and at times it gets quite serious. Weirdly enough, my kids found their biggest laughs whenever Max's goldfish died. Some of the more obvious aspie humour, such as the "take a seat" example, went completely over their heads.

The film is mostly done in greys though every now and then a bright colour, generally red, breaks through.

What the Film Says about the Spectrum

Probably the most amazing thing about this film is the way it covers aspergers. It kept surprising me. Initially I just expected Max to be an aspie-like character without any sign of a formal diagnosis (like Napoleon Dynamite) but the film goes on to not only say the word "Aspergers" but also give a potted explanation of what it means.

Later in the film, it takes a drastic turn in a direction which will horrify viewers. I really wasn't expecting this but the point that the film makes is a very good one and it's well worth sitting through a bit of unpleasantness for.

Summary

Mary and Max is an interesting, funny and thought-provoking film about Aspergers, isolation and chocolate and it gets a very high recommendation from me. 

Official trailer:

SHUTTER ISLAND-REVIEW

Director:Martin Scorsese
Writter:Laeta Kalogridis,Steven Knight (Uncredited)

Release date:February 19, 2010

Full movie:

Shutter Island is no impenetrable art-house enigma: it's an old-fashioned noirish thriller that ends with a massive plot twist. As such, you might have thought it would have been easy to understand. In fact, since the film was released in March, the blogosphere's been awash with debate about what actually happens in the final scene.

Martin Scorsese's film is based on a best-selling novel by Dennis Lehane. The book's protagonist, Teddy Daniels, who's apparently a US marshal, turns out to be Andrew Laeddis, a demented killer. He's a patient in a mental hospital who's been encouraged by his psychiatrist to act out his delusion in the hope that this will dispel it. The role play fails: after a brief recovery, Andrew relapses into insanity and is therefore taken off to be lobotomised.

The film's been described as faithful to the book, and many cinemagoers seem to have assumed that it's telling the same story. Leonardo DiCaprio's Teddy does indeed turn out to be Andrew. However, before he falls into the clutches of the lobotomists, he utters a line that isn't in the book. "This place makes me wonder," he asks, "which would be worse – to live as a monster, or to die as a good man?"

For some, this is to be seen as no more than the rambling of a madman. Others, however, take it as meaning that Andrew's only faking his relapse. His unusual treatment's made him aware of the terrible thing he's done: guilt has therefore engulfed him, and he's deliberately getting himself lobotomised to escape it.

These two versions of what the film means could hardly be more at odds. Yet Scorsese hasn't chosen to indicate which is the right one. Nor has DiCaprio. Perhaps the latter isn't sure himself. He found his role traumatising, and told an interviewer: "I remember saying to Marty, 'I have no idea where I am or what I'm doing.'"

Lehane is credited as one of the film's executive producers, so you might think he at least would know what's going on. Sadly, even he doesn't seem wholly certain: he explains that he stayed out of the scripting process. When pushed, he tries to reconcile DiCaprio's gnomic inquiry with his own original story. "Personally, I think he has a momentary flash," he suggests. "To me that's all it is. It's just one moment of sanity mixed in the midst of all the other delusions."

As it happens, just how to end the film was much debated by those more directly involved. One of these was Scorsese's psychiatric adviser,Professor James Gilligan of New York University. On a visit to the location where most of the film was shot, the now-abandoned Medfield state hospital in Massachusetts, I asked the professor what was really supposed to be happening. His answer was clear cut.

Andrew does indeed choose his fate. According to Gilligan, those cryptic last words mean: "I feel too guilty to go on living. I'm not going to actually commit suicide, but I'm going to vicariously commit suicide by handing myself over to these people who're going to lobotomise me." Gilligan says that people who kill others in the way Andrew has don't realise what they're doing at the time. If treatment returns them to their senses, guilt may then overwhelm them.

For Gilligan, the correct reading is important. Shutter Island is set in the 1950s. During that era, severe mental disturbances were often dealt with physically. In America, more than 40,000 patients were lobotomised over a 30-year period. However, progressives were pushing for the replacement of such methods by less ruinous remedies. Andrew's doctor (played by Ben Kingsley) is one of these. His role-play experiment is a test case. If it works, non-invasive treatment will have proved itself. If it fails, the lobotomists' position will be reinforced.

This debate shows some signs of being rekindled: growing understanding of brain physiology is reawakening interest in tinkering with its workings. Gilligan, however, is firmly opposed to this trend, and keen to see psychosocial treatments defended. Shutter Island the book shows such a treatment failing. The film, according to Gilligan, shows it succeeding, at least in dispelling delusion.

A second look at the film suggests that Gilligan's reading must be right. In his final murmurings, DiCaprio is clearly trying to act as if he's acting. After uttering that last line, he leaps up and strides purposefully into the midst of the waiting lobotomists; they don't have to jump him. So why all the mystery? Why weren't things just made a little bit clearer?

Perhaps we can guess. According to Gilligan, "Martin Scorsese said this film will make double the income because people will have to see it a second time to understand what happened the first time." So Marty at least may have known what he was doing. Shutter Island has already become his highest-grossing picture to date.

Official trailer:

SHERLOCK HOLMES (2009)-REVIEW

Director:Guy Ritchie

Writter: Michael Robert Johnson (screenplay), Anthony Peckham

Released date:

• 25 December 2009(United States)
• 26 December 2009(United Kingdom

Full review:

After finally catching serial killer and occult "sorcerer" Lord Blackwood, legendary sleuth Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Dr. Watson can close yet another successful case. But when Blackwood mysteriously returns from the grave and resumes his killing spree, Holmes must take up the hunt once again. Contending with his partner's new fiancée and the dimwitted head of Scotland Yard, the dauntless detective must unravel the clues that will lead him into a twisted web of murder, deceit, and black magic - and the deadly embrace of temptress Irene Adler. 

In London, Sherlock Holmes and his partner Dr. John Watson captures the follower of black magic and serial killer Lord Blackwood that has already killed five women when he is near to kill his sixth victim. Blackwood is sentenced to be strung up and Dr. Watson attests his death. However, Blackwood mysteriously returns from the afterlife and Inspector Lestrade summons Sherlock Holmes to help the Scotland Yard in the investigation. Meanwhile Dr. Watson intends to get married of the gorgeous Mary Morstan while Sherlock is visited by his former lover Irene Adler that has a secret agenda. 

With the arrest of Lord Blackwood, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson believe they have stopped one of London's most dangerous killers, responsible for four deaths and about to commit a fifth when he is apprehended. Several months later he is hanged for his crimes but rumors begin to circulate that he is in fact still alive, having used managed and the black arts to escape society's judgment. When they disinter his remains, they find the body of another man in the coffin. Soon, all of London is atwitter with the news that Blackwood has risen from the dead and for some, he is the devil incarnate. With the assistance of the very capable Irene Adler, Holmes and Watson must stop Blackwood before he can initiate his master plan: the takeover of the British government and eventually, world domination.



Official trailer:

BATTLESHIP REVIEW

Director:Peter berg
Writter:John hoeber,Erich hoeber
Release date:

• April 3, 2012(Tokyo, Premiere)
• April 11, 2012(United Kingdom)
• May 18, 2012(United States)

Full review:

Alex Hopper is a talented but undisciplined slacker. His brother Stone, a naval Commander, forces Hopper to join the Navy. Hopper becomes a lieutenant on the USS John Paul Jones DDG-53, sister-ship to his brother's command, the USS Sampson DDG-102. Hopper also falls in love with Admiral Shane's daughter, Samantha, and wants to marry her, but is afraid of asking her father's permission, as he doesn't like Hopper. During the RIMPAC opening ceremony, Hopper gets into a brawl with Captain Nagata of the Japanese Maritime Self Defense Force, in charge of JDS Myoko DDG-175. Hopper soon learns that he is to be kicked out of the Navy at the end of RIMPAC. Meanwhile, Samantha accompanies Army veteran and amputee Mick Canales on a hike on Oahu in order to help him adapt to his prosthetic legs.

A small fleet of alien ships arrives in response to the NASA signal. One ship collides with an orbital satellite and crashes in Hong Kong, while five others land in the waters near Hawaii. The aliens erect a massive forcefield around the islands, trapping a number of American, Japanese and other sovereignty's warships, including Hopper's ship. The aliens attack, destroying Nagata and Stone's ships. Hopper's superiors are killed, leaving him in command of the John Paul Jones. Captain Nagata and some of his crew members are rescued from the waters and assists the Americans in setting up a discreet way to track the aliens using wave-detection buoys. During a night-time battle, the aliens and the Americans exchange pot shots, but Hopper manages to sink two alien ships. They rescue an alien from the water. They discover the aliens are very sensitive to sun light and have to wear filters during the day. Using this knowledge, Hopper attacks another alien ship at dawn, using a sniper rifle with Nagata to breach their cockpit window and blind them with sunlight. Both ships are destroyed in the battle.

A group of alien footsoldiers and scientists lands on Oahu and attack the NASA communications array. Samantha and Mick narrowly avoid their detection, and run into a fleeing NASA scientist. Because the aliens' communications ship crashed in Hong Kong, the aliens plan to use the NASA array to signal their home planet to invade Earth. Realizing that a larger invasion might be imminent, Samantha manages to get a radio and warns Hopper of the threat.

Having no better options, the surviving crew of the John Paul Jones return to harbor and board the USS Missouri BB-63, a 70-year old decommissioned battleship that has been converted into a museum. With the aid of the museum staff, all elderly war veterans, Hopper manages to put the Missouri out to sea again. With some clever maneuvers, the Missouri destroys the last alien ship and shells the communications array, destroying the aliens and ending the threat of invasion.

Back on shore, the crew and Mick all get medals, including a posthumous one to Stone, after the ceremony, Adm. Shane leads Hopper off to discuss his 'Terms of Surrender' over a meal.

Official trailer:

• 
  

                                                     

AVATAR 2 (2015)

"AVATAR" fans worried James Cameron would be distracted from Pandora because of "The Informationist" can calm down. The King of the World was back talking about the "Avatar" sequels at the world premiere of "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" in New Zealand this week.

"I want to get these scripts nailed down, I don't want to be writing the movie in post production," Cameron said. "We kind of did that on the first picture, I ended up cutting out a lot of scenes and so on and I don't want to do that again." The director said he hoped to be finished with the "Avatar 2" script and in front of cameras on the project by the end of 2013. That timeline jibes with what Cameron has said previously about "Avatar 2" arriving in theaters sometime in 2015.

Meanwhile, despite much criticism about Peter Jackson's decision to shoot "The Hobbit" using 48 frames-per-second technology -- double the traditional frame-rate for filmmaking -- Cameron said he might adopt the process for "Avatar 2."

"If there is acceptance of 48, then that will pave the way for 'Avatar' to take advantage of it," Cameron said.

The 48 frames-per-second controversy started when Jacksons screened footage of "The Hobbit" for exhibitors and media members in April. According to Badass Digest writer Devin Faraci, "The Hobbit" said the footage had "that soap opera look you get from badly calibrated TVs at Best Buy."

Continued Faraci:

"The footage I saw looked terrible … completely non-cinematic. The sets looked like sets … sets don’t even look like sets when you’re on them live, but these looked like sets. The magical illusion of cinema is stripped away completely.”

Commenting on the brouhaha, Jackson told HuffPost Entertainment that he wanted fans to experience the film in its full 48 FPS 3D glory, and not merely in segmented clips -- part of the reason he didn't screen 48 FPS footage at Comic-Con.

"The negative guys, the guys that say this doesn't look like film -- the guys who are in love with the technology of 1927 -- are sort of sitting there saying, 'But it doesn't look like cinema. This is not what we're used to seeing in the films.' And those stories rush around the world and no one talked about the footage," Jackson said during Comic-Con in July. "So, I'm not going to go to Comic-Con with 12 minutes of footage and have the same reaction. I don't want people to write about 48 frames. Forty-eight frames can be written about in December. When people can actually watch a full-length narrative film, everyone can go to town on 48 frames, because that's the form that you've got to see it in. And if you hate it, you hate it. And if you like it, you like it. I think most people will [like it]."

Of course, not everyone can go to town on the 48 frames look of "The Hobbit";because of technical limitations, only a select group of theaters will show the film in 48 FPS. Whether that number increases by the time "Avatar 2" comes out likely depends on the response to "The Hobbit."

WATCH OFFICIAL TRAILER:

EVIL DEAD(2013) REVIEW

Evil Dead is an 2013 horror film and a remake of the 1981 cult classic horror film The Evil Dead. It will be produced by Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi, but will not include the Ash character. It was also said that the movie would be about a group of teenagers that go to the cabin and find the book, and the similarities with the original would end there.

More recently, rumors have suggested that a re-write of a script is being reviewed and Bruce Campbell suggested that in true style of Sam Raimi's films he would do a cameo role, jokingly suggesting that it would be a remake/sequel and Knowby's ghost would be replaced by ghostly Ash.

In April 2011, Bruce Campbell did an AskMeAnything interview on Reddit.com, saying "Newsflash: We are remakingEvil Dead. The script is awesome. I will be one of the producers and possibly play the milk man". He added "In all honesty, we would all love to make another Evil Dead movie. When that will happen? Who can say – we're all working on other jobs right now. We're not trying to dodge anybody's questions, there just isn't that much to talk about. The remake's gonna kick ass – you have my word". On July 13, 2011 it was officially announced, via a press release, that Ghost House Pictures would be producing the upcoming remake of The Evil Dead, with Diablo Codyin the process of revising the script and Fede Alvarez chosen as the director. Actor Shiloh Fernandez is reported cast as the main lead role of David. Bloody Disgusting has reported that Lily Collins is in the lead role as Mia who is a female version of Ash, but on January 24, 2012, Collins has dropped out of the role. On February 3, 2012 it was announced that actress Jane Levy, star of the television series Suburgatory would be replacing Collins in the lead role as Mia. Lou Taylor Pucci, Elizabeth Blackmore and Jessica Lucas have joined the cast for the horror film.

Watch official trailer:

DJANGO UNCHAINED

Director:Quentin Tarantino
Writter:Quentin Tarantino
Stars:Jamie Foxx,Christoph Waltz,Leonardo DiCaprio,Kerry Washington,Samuel L. Jackson,Walton Goggins,Dennis Christopher,James Remar,Michael Parks,Don Johnson

• Release date:December 25, 2012(United States)

• Full Review:
• 
  
•             A former slave and a German bounty hunter become unlikely allies in the battle against a tyrannical plantation owner in this western from visionary director Quentin Tarantino. Two years before the Civil War pits brother-against-brother, German-born fugitive hunter Dr. King Schultz (Academy Award-winner Christoph Waltz) arrives in America determined to capture the outlaw Brittle brothers dead or alive. In the midst of his search, Dr. Schultz crosses paths with Django (Academy Award-winner Jamie Foxx), a freed slave and skilled tracker who seeks to rescue his beloved wife Broomhilda (Kerry Washington) from ruthless plantation owner Calvin Candie (Academy Award-nominee Leonardo DiCaprio).Once Django has aided Dr. Schultz in coralling the Brittle brothers, the two team up to capture some of the most wanted men in the South.Meanwhile, Django never loses sight of his mission to free Broomhilda from the treacherous slave trade before it's too late.
• 
  

•             Upon arriving at Candie's nefarious plantation, dubbed Candyland, Django and Dr. Schultz discover that slaves are being groomed for gladiator-like competitions by Candie's malevolent right-hand man Billy Crash (Walton Goggins), and together they skillfully work their way onto the compound for a closer look.
•             But just as Django and his partner locate Broomhilda and plot a daring escape, Candie's house slave Stephen (Academy Award-nomineeSamuel L. Jackson) catches wind of their plan, and informs his master of the betrayal. Now, as a clandestine organization attempts to back them into a corner, Django and Dr. Schultz will have to come out with pistols blazing if they ever hope to free Broomhilda from Candyland and the clutches of its vile proprietor. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

                                                                             Download  Link 1

                                                                               Download  Link 2

• Download UCBrowser and get the fastest speed
• 3gp(127 mb)
• link 1
• link 2
• link 3
• link 4
• link 5
• link 6
• 3gp(127 mb)
• link 1
• link 2
• link 3
• link 4
• link 5
• link 6
• MP4    (139 mb)                                                                         
• link 1
• link 2
• link 3
• link 4
•   link 5          
•     link 6         
•    MP4    (126 mb)   
• link 1
• link 2
• link 3
• link 4
• link 5
• link 6
• High MP4 (HD quality) for tablets and high end phones
• (345 mb)
• link 1
• link 2
• link 3
• link 4
• link 5
• link 6
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
•                                   

• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK REVIEW

Director:David O. Russell

Running Time:122 minutes

Release Date:September 8, 2012 (initial release)

A character drama with a twisted sense of humor Silver Linings Playbook follows Pat (Bradley Cooper) a recently released psychiatric hospital patient who moves back in with his parents and begins a quest to reclaim his broken marriage. Despite the warnings from doctors Pat's mom Dolores (Jacki Weaver) and dad Pat Sr. (Robert De Niro) take him in hoping familiar settings and a little Eagles football may be the perfect cure. It isn't — Pat continuously loses his s**t over his ex-wife Nikki frantically stressing over her high school English class' reading syllabus (he toss Hemmingway's A Farewell to Arms straight through a glass window) and breaking down every time he hears their wedding song. There's no hope for him and Nikki — catching her with another man and beating him to a pulp led to his institutionalizing — but Pat's focused mind doesn't let him deviate.

After being invited to a friend's house for dinner Pat meets Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence) who sees a friendship in the bipolar patient. After the death of her husband Tiffany went off the deep end engaging anyone and everyone for sex. She's sees a companion in Pat and although he's reluctant the off-kilter pair can't fight the magnetic power of their psychological issues.

Most of their conversations end in screaming or blunt admissions — but they're relatable.

Mental illness and human connection may sound like an equation for eye-roll-worthy saccharine but director David O. Russell mines Cooper and Lawrence's comedic strengths to turn Silver Linings Playbook into one of the funniest movies of the year.

Nothing is off limits for Russell; one reoccurring joke is that Pat can't stop bringing up the fact that Tiffany's husband is dead. As Tiffany puts it to Pat, "You say more inappropriate things than appropriate things."

To make Pat aware of how his bipolar existence affects the people around him and to make us the audience feel for this heart-wrenching experience Russell shoots and paces Silver Linings Playbook for awkward comedy.

He also returns to the always-reliable family dynamic. The Fighter is to Boston as Silver Linings Playbook is to Philadelphia De Niro perfecting the Eagles-loving everyman with a collection of betting buddies who may be just as delusional as Pat.

The legendary actor proved he had comedy chops in Meet the Parentsbut here he blends it with gravitas that earned him a legacy in the first place. Rush Hour actor Chris Tucker also pops up as Pat's good friend from the institution. More restrained than ever Tucker helps add warmth to the picture. Pat has a support system everywhere he turns. In essence the film emanates with positive vibes.

Even with a great ensemble Silver Linings Playbook is Cooper and Lawrence's show. To the bitter end Pat and Tiffany never get sappy with one another always at each other's throats over the feelings they harbor and the pasts they can't shake away.

Cooper loses himself in the chaotic mind of Pat without ever slipping into a caricature of the mentally ill. He can stir up laughs with his desperate search for Pat's missing wedding video and then shock us in the blink of an eye when things turn violent.

Impressively Lawrence's Tiffany is never written down. She never succumbs to being a comforting presence always provoking Pat to push himself.

She's a strong woman but a strong woman juggling her own set of issues. Lawrence conveys all of that without missing a beat. That dynamic should be make Silver Linings Playbook the talk of the town come Oscar time.

                                        

ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH REVIEW

Director:Callan Brunker

Writter:ory Edwards, Tony Leech, Callan Brunker, Bob Barlen

Release Date:February 14, 2013 (initial release)

It's an impressive feat for a movie to be strange and forgettable, subversive yet littered with crass product placement. Escape from Planet Earth manages to be all of these things and more. In this world, aliens are abducted by government officials, Roswell is an intergalactic work camp, an Army general is conducting an online affair with a sexy alien lady, and the stoners who work or hang out or whatever at 7-11 ply their new little blue friend with a matching blue Slurpee. Sounds promising, right?

Not entirely. For the most part, the plodding plot is driven by a lackluster sibling rivalry between Gary Supernova (Rob Corddry) and his lantern-jawed brother Scorch (Brendan Fraser). These little blue dudes live on the planet Baab and work at BASA, which is (obviously) Baab's version of NASA. Gary's the nerdy mission control guy who saves his brother's butt when Scorch is off being a bad ass astronaut. A plodding series of events lands them both on Earth, a planet full of violent, devolved creatures where aliens from across the galaxy routinely go missing. There, they find the devious General Shanker (William Shatner) is snatching otherwise peaceful aliens and putting them to work on building a giant weapon that will destroy the universe. The other aliens Gary and Scorch run into are way more interesting and fun than the folks they left behind on Baab — a cafeteria food fight between Roswell employees and the aliens is more entertaining than 90% of the interactions between Gary and Scorch — which is a bummer since Gary's wife Kira (Sarah Jessica Parker) is hot on their heels to rescue them. Lena, the head of BASA, is a lovelorn villainess (Jessica Alba) who would be willing to blow up the world for a hot human with an Elvis pompadour that she met online. She and Kira used to be coworkers but now Lena's like, whatever, now you're a stay-at-home mom! And Kira's like, I will kick your butt. And so on. The female characters in the movie are pretty decent, all things considered.

Still, Escape from Planet Earth is a bit of a mess. Are we rooting for family values? Or railing against how silly humans are? Or constantly, odiously plugging 7-11? There is also auto-tuned music on the soundtrack, although it's not clear if this was yet another invention of the aliens (like the iPhone, Facebook, the Internet, and Pixar, according to one montage) or yet another example of how humans have devolved. Adding to the confusion: a sexy news reporter alien voiced by Sofía Vergara.

Escape from Plant Earth seems like its plot was originally cooked up by some sorta cool goofy dudes — I mean, Steve Zahn and Chris Parnellas stoners who work at 7-11? Pretty funny! — that was then wrangled into something a little more family-friendly. (Vis the website, which is littered with seals of approval from the Parents Television Council and the Dove Foundation.) It's not that it's particularly bad, it's just not something that sticks with you in any meaningful way. The rest of the voice cast is pretty good, like Craig Robinson as a cool talk radio "therapist" alien and Jane Lynch as a one-eyed librarian from the sun with anger management problems. It's just that there's so much other stuff happening that isn't particularly gripping. Like the crux of the entire story. Who cares if Gary and Scorch ever make up? Who cares that Kip thinks his dad is a pantywaist? You really don't. In a world where film-lovers of all ages can be challenged, entertained, and moved by animated film, it's entirely fair to expect more of family films.

(Escape from Planet Earth is available in 3D, but for expediency's sake, I saw the 2Dversion.